When a child is very emotional or upset , the emotion will subside best when the receive support from others. Some parents have difficult knowing how to help because they cannot handle their own feelings comfortably. Some suggestions which may assist calm the upset child include:
Validation: “it is okay and understandable that you have these feelings”. Not don't be silly now grow up!
Empathy: “I can see that upsets you”. what's wrong with you.
Room to feel: “Let me hold you while you cry” or “you might need a few minutes to be upset before we talk” . Not hurry up and stop that nonsense
Time to talk: “when you are ready to talk, Please tell me what your feelings are” . not get over it!
Opportunity to Learn: “ Is there anything valuable to learn from this experience?” forget it !
…Sometimes children need to release their feelings in ways other than talking such as art,play, dance, and story writing . It is helpful to provide a supportive environment so the child feels safe to express feelings.
Respect your child’s confidence. They be embarrassed and ask you to keep the issue private. This can ensure successful healing experiences and a healthy relationship of trust.
Dr Antonia Penna writes, "In a partnership of love and respect you can work together to examine and resolve your child’s hurt feelings – empowering them for life."
Dr Antonia Penna writes, "In a partnership of love and respect you can work together to examine and resolve your child’s hurt feelings – empowering them for life."
Hurtful Experiences by Dr Antonio Penna CE of the Children’s Hospital Westmead, Sydney.
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