Help Young Children Recognise Emotional Pain

"I've got a pain!"

Stress or indigestion?

Children may report emotional distress as a physical symptom. When children report a headache or tummy ache this may be a symptom of an underlying psychological problem. Parents can teach children from a young age to recognise emotional pain.

Clues to distinguish emotional pain could be that the onset is associated with another event such as fear or worry about a new or difficult situation .

If you suspect a psychological cause,

reassure the child and validate their experience.

Help the child understand the body signal for stress.

Assist them to relax and

make a plan about how to handle the stress.

teach how to cope do not avoid the situations

Congratulate the child when the pain eases.

Help them express their worry in a drawing, write a story, dance, play with a ball, be creative!. Children have a natural ability to use their imagination. This can assist them to be brave and face difficult situations.

Listen to the child's suggestions, they may come up with a magic thinking remedy! Remember we DO USE imagination with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, why not try imagination for healing a psychological pain. Medical hynosis has a scientific basis which demonstrates how we can use the mind to improve health.

"If the pain persists of course, talk to your doctor."

Breathe in , Breathe out. Relaxxxxxx. Physical pain will be easier to manage when the patient is calm.

Lyn Everingham, Director
Focus Psychology

How to help when children are sad or grumpy.

When a child is very emotional or upset , the emotion will subside best when the receive support from others. Some parents have difficult knowing how to help because they cannot handle their own feelings comfortably. Some suggestions which may assist calm the upset child include:

Validation: “it is okay and understandable that you have these feelings”. Not don't be silly now grow up!

Empathy: “I can see that upsets you”. what's wrong with you.
Room to feel: “Let me hold you while you cry” or “you might need a few minutes to be upset before we talk” . Not hurry up and stop that nonsense
Time to talk: “when you are ready to talk, Please tell me what your feelings are” . not get over it!
Opportunity to Learn: “ Is there anything valuable to learn from this experience?” forget it !

…Sometimes children need to release their feelings in ways other than talking such as art,play, dance, and story writing . It is helpful to provide a supportive environment so the child feels safe to express feelings.

Respect your child’s confidence. They be embarrassed and ask you to keep the issue private. This can ensure successful healing experiences and a healthy relationship of trust.

Dr Antonia Penna writes, "In a partnership of love and respect you can work together to examine and resolve your child’s hurt feelings – empowering them for life."

Hurtful Experiences by Dr Antonio Penna CE of the Children’s Hospital Westmead, Sydney.