Help Young Children Recognise Emotional Pain

"I've got a pain!"

Stress or indigestion?

Children may report emotional distress as a physical symptom. When children report a headache or tummy ache this may be a symptom of an underlying psychological problem. Parents can teach children from a young age to recognise emotional pain.

Clues to distinguish emotional pain could be that the onset is associated with another event such as fear or worry about a new or difficult situation .

If you suspect a psychological cause,

reassure the child and validate their experience.

Help the child understand the body signal for stress.

Assist them to relax and

make a plan about how to handle the stress.

teach how to cope do not avoid the situations

Congratulate the child when the pain eases.

Help them express their worry in a drawing, write a story, dance, play with a ball, be creative!. Children have a natural ability to use their imagination. This can assist them to be brave and face difficult situations.

Listen to the child's suggestions, they may come up with a magic thinking remedy! Remember we DO USE imagination with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, why not try imagination for healing a psychological pain. Medical hynosis has a scientific basis which demonstrates how we can use the mind to improve health.

"If the pain persists of course, talk to your doctor."

Breathe in , Breathe out. Relaxxxxxx. Physical pain will be easier to manage when the patient is calm.

Lyn Everingham, Director
Focus Psychology

Teens and Family Dinners

Researchers from the National Center of Addiction and Substance Abuse found that teens who have family dinners fewer than three times a week - compared with those who have family dinners five or more times a week - were much more likely to use drugs and alcohol and have less academic success. Teens who say they have family dinners but that there are distractions at the table also have higher rates of substance abuse than teens who have frequent family dinners without interruptions.

September 23 2009 from the National Center of Addiction & Substance Abuse

Children and the internet - How much is too much?

More than half of Australians have the internet at home and a household with children is more likely to have a computer with internet access.

Children can benefit from the internet because it offers them more text-based information than other media. It can help improve a child’s interest in reading and their problem-solving skills. But how do you know what is too much exposure to the internet?

The Australian Council for Children’s Film and Television suggests that up to an hour a day is enough screen time for children under seven or eight. For older children, 1½-2 hours is enough. (this includes computer, TV and electronic games)

Extended and frequent use of the computer can effect a child’s health and fitness. Here are some interesting points that might help you limit "screen time"
· When using the computer, set the kitchen timer
· Encourage your child to engage in a range of activities that are alternatives to web surfing. An afternoon at a local library followed by a milkshake could turn into a much valued experience

Encourage children to discuss homework and assignments with family and friends. For example, a mother overheard her friend telling the history behind Taj Matal to a child. She found the story very interesting and would normally have automatically depended on Google for an answer.

It is also important to keep in mind that information you find on the internet may not always be accurate. Confirm that sites have credibility when researching school work or obtain the information from alibrary resource

How to help when children are sad or grumpy.

When a child is very emotional or upset , the emotion will subside best when the receive support from others. Some parents have difficult knowing how to help because they cannot handle their own feelings comfortably. Some suggestions which may assist calm the upset child include:

Validation: “it is okay and understandable that you have these feelings”. Not don't be silly now grow up!

Empathy: “I can see that upsets you”. what's wrong with you.
Room to feel: “Let me hold you while you cry” or “you might need a few minutes to be upset before we talk” . Not hurry up and stop that nonsense
Time to talk: “when you are ready to talk, Please tell me what your feelings are” . not get over it!
Opportunity to Learn: “ Is there anything valuable to learn from this experience?” forget it !

…Sometimes children need to release their feelings in ways other than talking such as art,play, dance, and story writing . It is helpful to provide a supportive environment so the child feels safe to express feelings.

Respect your child’s confidence. They be embarrassed and ask you to keep the issue private. This can ensure successful healing experiences and a healthy relationship of trust.

Dr Antonia Penna writes, "In a partnership of love and respect you can work together to examine and resolve your child’s hurt feelings – empowering them for life."

Hurtful Experiences by Dr Antonio Penna CE of the Children’s Hospital Westmead, Sydney.