THINK BEFORE YOU TWEET

Free from other constraints, in the privacy of the interaction with the PC or phone, users are becoming more bold. The trend is to impulsively write what they might not say face to face.



According to psychologists, a phenomenon known as online disinhibition effect is associated with the conditions of online communication. In particular it is anonymity, invisibility and fantasy elements which may create a feeling of disconnection from the usual everyday persona. We are seeing this greater confidence in online dating websites, the use of the internet to access information that would be otherwise difficult to obtain such as in porn sites and social networking such as facebook, twitter, myspace etc.



There may be some advantages if used responsibly. For example, a shy person may gain greater confidence online while developing friendships and information. If this leads to improved chance of face to face contact and healthy relationships then this could be a worthwhile thing. Also the speed and range or population allows greater chance of finding like minded individuals.


Families and friends are meeting more frequently through the ease of communication to arrange contact. This is a healthy indicator for the community.

Disadvantages include the possible lack of authenticity. Whereas when we meet face to face , humans are programmed to read the thousands of body language signals of the small muscles of the face, skin, eyes, tone of voice, posture etc which communicate nonverbal messages. Even with the visual assistance of cameras such as in Skype communication, the quality of resolution is insufficient to accurately read complex emotional messages.

Rebecca Matthews researching social networking for the Australian Psychological Society was quoted in The Sydney Morning Herald Good Weekend 22nd January 2011 . She stated that people consistently overestimate their ability to communicate effectively online. People are overconfident to communicate anger, sadness, seriousness, humour or sarcasm accurately. This ofcourse can lead to unsatisfactory responses for the recipient and a flow of adverse misunderstandings. To concisely convey an emotional message requires considerable language talent.

Twitter has a somewhat older average user of about 39 years of age. This method of short tweeting has led to some tragic online misunderstandings in the public arena. Perhaps these users are more overly sensitive than those who those younger users of Facebook and Myspace.
Researchers suggest our social skills are lagging behind our tech. communication ability and that Gen Y may have better online communication than Gen X.



Reminder: THINK BEFORE YOU TWEET........Calm down, think .. then PRESS SEND

Getting Along With Family

Getting along with family members always has some difficult moments. Sometimes unresolved issues or habits impact our current situation. It helps to understand how our communication developed as well as finding ways to improve communication.
People may have different patterns of responding due to earlier life experiences. For example some people with military training may believe there is one 'right way' to do things and at times react angrily towards semingly small events, due to being trained to be ready to 'fight'. Some may find they tend to focus on the practical part of the problem rather than the emotional or relationship elements.
When a person is experiencing depression, anxiety or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) they may have less energy towork on their relationships. Physical Illness can also impact on relationships in a similar manner to mental health problems.
Here are some techniques that we can choose to improve relationships with family members.

• Choose a time and place to talk when you won't be disturbed and both are willing to talk.
• Talk when you are not highly emotional
• If either person becomes emotional or if the argument gets too heated, have a break and resume when both parties have cooled down. Undertake some constructive and calming activity during the break which may need to be up to 24 hours.
• Be Respectful through listening, open body language and your tone of voice. Try not to criticise, be defensive, call names or use sarcasm.
• Attack the problem, not the person. Own your part of the problem and use "I" and "We" statements rather than "You", which sounds blaming and creates defensive responses. For example, 'when this happens ....I feel hurt" rather than "You're such an idiot, you always do that!"
• Stay on the Subject. Handle one problem at a time and do not bring up past mistakes.

Information taken from the Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service Newsletter 2010